Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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