the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
