I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
