I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
