dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
