Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
