i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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