You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
