And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
