I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
