the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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