whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
