You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
