guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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