Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
even my farts smell like vagina
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
