You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
