Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
No...this little piggys going to the bar
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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