she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
