now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
