This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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