I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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