turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
