Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Randomize
