I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
