whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
