We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
