Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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