I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
