I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
