How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
