we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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