dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I need moral support for this bender
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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