it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
