Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
