Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
