hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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