You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
