id be glad to
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize