i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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