nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize