How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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