yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
