I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
