Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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