You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
