i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
