Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
