One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
