Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize