i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
we're so committed to being not committed
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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