If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
