Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
