if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
