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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i cant lie to you.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.

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• (858): View more from California

  Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink

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• (850): View more from Florida

  HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  How exactly does a handjob become fancy?

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Blueberry lube, and champagne.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in

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