Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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