DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
