he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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