Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
