it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
