Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
