i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize