it hurts more in the daytime
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
