I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Alive.
So much puke
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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