i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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