There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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